20 Weeks!

We have a confirmed little BOY on the way folks, and he is very proud of his little manhood. The best news? He is healthy and growing beautifully with no complications! YAY!!! There has been such a weight lifted off of my shoulders since finding that out. I have been one worried and anxious Momma. Not that I would change anything about our perfect little Jayden, but I am glad that our Tristan will have it a little bit easier. :) We cannot wait to meet you and hold you Tristan David Ostler!!! We LOVE you!!!!!

Just look at that precious little boy all snuggled up, and that face! SO precious!

I have still not gained any weight, but I stopped loosing so that is something. I am still feeling very sick, but at least baby and baby bump and growing and healthy despite all that! I officially look pregnant and not just like ate too much-hooray!!!

We are officially half way!!! Eeeeek!!!! I have the nursery ready to go! Pics to come!…just as soon as I get November and December caught up on here. :)

My New Year’s Resolutions

Well, I can say that I only have one New Year’s Resolution this year and it is this-BE HEALTHY, and even more importantly with that BEING HAPPY! That includes all areas of health: spiritual (being at the top of the list), emotional, mental, and of course that oh-so-popular health area (especially when it comes to New Year’s Resolutions)-physical. Now, even though it is one single goal, there is a LOT of lifestyle change, and mini resolutions that come with it. This blog is a place where I plan to document what I do and the results I find, and lets be honest a place to hold myself accountable to my new goals for my new life. So here are all the areas as listed above in more detail.

Spiritual: Live in a way that is more centered on the Gospel and my Savior, so that I can find the added peace and joy that comes from making the spirit the biggest part of my life. I will be making this a focus by saying morning and evening prayers (individual, family, and couple’s), reading scriptures daily (as a family and personally), and focusing on filling my life with wholesome and uplifting influences.

Emotional: I will achieve being more emotionally healthy by really focusing on being more positive. Simple concept. I know, but for me it has always been more like rocket science. I really try to be positive around others, but struggle silently and inwardly. My hope this year is to make it more of a natural occurrence inside and out, rather than the forced one (at times) it has felt in the past. I am pretty sure that by focusing on my other three areas of health, this one will come a lot more naturally. I plan on really focusing on my blessings to help alleviate my struggles with anxiety and depression. I am hoping that this will replace fear with faith and despair with hope.

Mental: I really want to constantly be learning and growing and developing throughout my life, and so I hope that this year I can pursue this passion and put this goal into action. I plan on making reading a part of my everyday life. Whether it be to escape to a magical world and set my imagination free, or a book to learn and grow as a person and spirit, or to get further ahead with our business by developing myself and my mind and setting my gears up for success!

Physical: This is not the most important one per say, but it definitely affects the others that are more important to me. Most women hate their post-baby body, but ironically enough I actually see mine as a goal to aspire to. The picture below is me two weeks after giving birth (left), and the then two years after giving birth (right). See what I mean? Maybe it was the fact that I lost more weight during my pregnancy than I gained due to being so sick and being on a gestational diabetes diet for the last third of it. And maybe I have gained so much since having Jayden because of all of the stress the past two years (trust me, there has been a LOT), never working out, and eating terribly, but it is time for no excuses and work, work, WORK! I have never exercised or eaten healthy regularly in my entire life! Sad, right? I mean I have been active with music-dance-theater and such, but I have never had a regular routine of my own. Yup! I am turning 27 this year and I think it is high-time I start taking care of my body if I want it to keep taking care of me.

So how do I plan on achieving this? Well, let’s just say that although this goal may not be at the top of my list, it is definitely taking the most time and is the reason behind 75% of the changes I have made to my life. Starting last Monday, I am focusing on…

…and…

all while eating six small HEALTHY and balanced meals/snacks a day, and not eating past seven p.m. I am also drinking 10 cups of water a day! My bladder is going crazy! Ha ha! I drink an eight ounce glass before every meal which helps me to not overeat.

I am also working out six days a week with 20 second fitness (LOVE it). It is intense but short and sweet, so it is bearable. I also do crunches and pushups every day. I do them until I am sore and then I do thirty more crunches and ten more pushups, to really burn fat and get those muscles into shape. And I top it all off with 1-3 hours of cardio with Zumba and dancing at play practice to keep my metabolism kicking! I do enough to make sure I am burning what I eat, so I don’t have excess calories, carbs, and fat to burn. Let me tell you, this past week about killed me, but I am already noticing a difference in how my clothes fit and my muscle definition after just one week! WOOT!

Guys and Dolls (the show I am currently in) is a HUGE incentive to stay on top of my physique with determination, focus and drive! Considering I am a hot box dancer in it, I want to look good opening night! That is the goal! Also being in shape tends to help when it comes to dancing and singing at the same time. ;)

 

Well, there you have it! My New Year’s Resolution that entails tons of mini resolutions and lifestyle changes. I will be checking in here regularly with my progress. Wish me luck!!!

 

 

*all photos (other than the ones of me) are compliments of Google Images.

Creating Good, Hope, and Happiness in a World of Evil, Despair, and Sadness

This world is quickly becoming SO heartbreaking and scary! Just reminds me that we need to work on our spiritual strength, and prepare ourselves temporally so we can face what lies ahead, while creating a heaven on earth in our homes to give our children the best safe haven from the world that we can. The scriptures testify that it will get worse before it gets better (a fact that quite often make...s me sick with worry-especially with all that is happening lately, and how quickly it is coming to pass), but at least we know, that in the end the good will indeed conquer all the evils of this world. We just have to endure and remember that, and stand valiantly and courageously to defend that which is good and right. Remember there are so many who wish to do evil, but there are also a great number of those who go to great measure to do good, there can be despair, but with faith there is hope and peace, and most importantly, there is sadness in this world, but there is also an abundance of happiness!

 

P.S.-All pictures (other than the last one of my family), and quotes I found on the Church’s website at www.lds.org and Google.

This is my little happy corner of the world.

  

Ben Pursues His Accounting Degree

Getting our schooling completed was hard with being out of state, and not wanting to pay out of state tuition fees. We decided to wait until we moved back to Utah (but ended up staying a year instead of just for the summer, remember that adventure), but we became official residents of Colorado just a week before moving back to Utah. So, we decided to wait another year until we were official Utah residents once again. That time finally came and we began looking into different schools. A concern we really took into consideration was Ben’s work possibly taking him from state to state to state, so in an effort to avoid messy transfers and lost credits, we decided to go with the pricey, but “efficient” Stevens-Henager. Worst. Mistake. Ever. It is especially agonizing since we ended up staying in Utah anyway. Grrr….

Ben started school with Stevens-Henager mid-June 2010, and I cannot even begin to tell you the knot I get in my stomach even blogging about this experience. Ben was already working very long and hard days as the technician manager for EcoFirst Pest Control 6 days a week, and by the time he got home (late) the last thing I wanted was for him to have to work on school late into the night and often into the early morning hours, which sometimes turned into an all-nighter all together. It absolutely stunk and what it got us, and where we are now absolutely infuriates me to the very core! I try to be positive, but this is one thing I don’t know if I will ever be able to be fully positive about (although we are partly to blame for not reading every live of the contract and trusting the person “helping” us) it was a hard, excruciating lesson to learn. I do not have very Christ-like feelings towards this institution-at all-as hard as I try. Ben spent just over two years and got his associate's (which took 4 months longer than they originally claimed), just to find out that they are NOT accredited in the state of Utah as they have stated. Oh, and did you know they have been in the middle of the 6-month accreditation process for oh….15 years now! Impressive! (note my extreme sarcasm). Did I also mention that (although they promised he could become a CPA in Utah with his degree) he actually does not qualify to become a CPA in Utah with their program? I want to go back in time and give that counselor a big high five-right in the face! Ben worked really hard and received honors and impressive grades. So, here we are three years later, piled high with school debt for a degree, which let’s face it-gets us nowhere! Two years of hard work, time together greatly sacrifiiced and tens of thousands of dollars for NOTHING!!! It is stuff like this that keeps me awake at night  worried, frustrated and depressed. Really wishing we had read that 50 page contract right about now. Don’t you wish people could just be trustworthy?! Goodness! Ben is currently getting ready to start all over again this fall-oh the joys! I could just cry-and I have! I guess we should count our blessings though. We are definitely still very blessed and things are working out and after a long, hard struggle the past two years, I am going to try to focus on that. Sorry for this huge, ugly rant, although, I must admit it feels really good to finally vent all my feelings on the matter. I tell ya, between this blog and my music, I will never need a therapist, and that is a blessing right there. :)

It is really hard writing about the excitement of this time in our life-as we now deal with the devastating aftermath of is all-but at the time, we were actually very excited about it and I was, and still am VERY proud of my amazing husband (who by the way is handling this all much better than me {he usually does}, even though it has definitely affected him more-breaks my heart for all his hard work and good intention). So, I went all out and put together a little “back to school” package for my guy the week he started. 

Bored while Ben works on school…and then goofing off and distracting him. I think we will stick with his short, blonde hair though. ;)

Still SO proud of you and all your hard work babe! I am so blessed to get to call this hard-working stud my sweetheart!

Life and the Frustratingly Familiar Unknown

Our awesome friends, Camille and Ben Hatch, were nice and let us stay with them while we figured things out. We really enjoyed spending time with them and their cute puppy, Cooper. The not so fun part-trying to figure out jobs and a place to live. Two of the most frustrating and reoccurring themes in mine and Ben’s life. I still remember how nauseated all the stress made me. We did a lot of searching and praying and fasting during that time. I would like to think that I am strong and optimistic and full of faith, but let me tell you, times like this I really fall short with all three of those desired traits. I am just glad I have a calm and collected, go-with-the-flow husband with how much of an independent, perfectionist, control freak I can be. Times like this also remind me just how very different Ben and I are. Lucky for me, he makes up where I lack. If being a patient and loving husband while married to a crazy lady was an Olympic sport (and I think it should be-that takes strength and talent), he would have a Gold Medal by now.

After what felt like tons of effort and time, we had an apartment lined up and some good job prospects. Around that same time Ben’s Boss from back in Colorado offered him a full-time technician position back with the pest control company in Colorado. This was definitely NOT part of the plan I had for us, but the offer at the time was pretty good. Ben told him he would think about it and let him know, before hanging up and telling me we had until the next day to decide. Talk about a BIG decision and not a lot of time to make it in. With this new situation in front of us, we did the only thing that made sense We said a prayer, started a fast, and went to the Provo, Temple hoping to receive some much needed answers. After doing our session we got to sit in the sacred and special Celestial Room and sat silently, deep in thought, trying to find the guidance of the holy spirit. I knew I was starting to feel right about going back to Colorado, as much as I tried to fight it. I looked at Ben and I knew that he felt the same. “Okay, then”, I said as we walked out of the temple that evening. “I guess Colorado it is!” He replied “Yup, I guess so”, after asking me if I was really okay with that. I wasn’t really, but that is what faith is all about.

I only wish that same amount of peace found in the temple stayed with you when you left, because only about an hour had passed before I was nervous again, and questioning our decision as I packed our stuff up, once again, to move back. Moving back would push finishing college off further, we still had no where to live, I would not have my support group of fellow wives this time around, and there was A LOT that would be affected by this decision. I may or may not have cried off and on the entire drive back to Colorado the very next day. You know what they say, “Faith makes things possible, not easy”.

Home Sweet Home in the Mile High City

We arrived a few days before we could settle in to our apartment so we spent some time at my Aunt and Uncle’s house in Centennial. It was fun to spend some time with them since they were rarely able to visit us in Utah. We got to know them very well during our summer (that turned into a full year) and we loved every moment we got to spend with them. We lived with them on a few occasions while we were in limbo. They were a huge blessing and help with our many adventures and trials during that time. I am so grateful to them to this day for their love and hospitality. We LOVED Colorado! So much in fact, that at one point in time, we even planned on settling down and having a family there.

While staying with my family and before Ben started work we decided to explore a little bit. Our first stop was the Park Meadows Mall. It is a gorgeous mall and I even ended up working that fall at the Nordstrom’s there.  I always loved that mall. All the malls in Colorado are pretty cool. I really missed the fun shopping experience when we finally moved back to Utah.

A few days later we were able to move the 45 minutes north to Westminster into our home for the Summer. We loved this apartment. It doubled as one of the team’s office. That had some BIG pluses such as having furniture (a big plus when you can only take what fits in your car), and paying only half the rent was probably the biggest plus. This arrangement sounded much better than it actually ended up being and had some unforeseen BIG downsides as well, like it not really being our own space, cleaning the toilet 8 plus guys used, finding molding sandwiches under the couch and dealing with the late night “meetings” where the guys were super loud and often times would knock on our bedroom door at late night hours wanting us to get something for them, but all in all the 50% discount was nice and we survived. I stayed as positive, calm, collected and classy as I could, but once in a while that ambition of mine failed, and some not-so-nice notes were left for the sales reps on the team’s white board.

 

We also had the pleasure of having the handicap unit so we did not have many of the drawers that are usually present in the bathroom and kitchen-kind of a pain, but we improvised and with the little stuff we brought with us, it worked out.

Yes, decorations are so important to me I sacrificed space for them in the car. I could never call a place “home” without them. We actually moved from place to place several times while in Colorado. Between this apartment, my Aunt and Uncles, and house sitting, it was quite the set of adventures! I am so glad we did not have children back then. I still remember telling Ben how I could not wait for our life to settle down to the point where we could stay in one place for more than just a few weeks or months. Now, I get bored staying in one place for too long, but in my defense I warned Ben I probably would when things finally settled. Life is just funny like that, you know?