Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Life and the Frustratingly Familiar Unknown

Our awesome friends, Camille and Ben Hatch, were nice and let us stay with them while we figured things out. We really enjoyed spending time with them and their cute puppy, Cooper. The not so fun part-trying to figure out jobs and a place to live. Two of the most frustrating and reoccurring themes in mine and Ben’s life. I still remember how nauseated all the stress made me. We did a lot of searching and praying and fasting during that time. I would like to think that I am strong and optimistic and full of faith, but let me tell you, times like this I really fall short with all three of those desired traits. I am just glad I have a calm and collected, go-with-the-flow husband with how much of an independent, perfectionist, control freak I can be. Times like this also remind me just how very different Ben and I are. Lucky for me, he makes up where I lack. If being a patient and loving husband while married to a crazy lady was an Olympic sport (and I think it should be-that takes strength and talent), he would have a Gold Medal by now.
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After what felt like tons of effort and time, we had an apartment lined up and some good job prospects. Around that same time Ben’s Boss from back in Colorado offered him a full-time technician position back with the pest control company in Colorado. This was definitely NOT part of the plan I had for us, but the offer at the time was pretty good. Ben told him he would think about it and let him know, before hanging up and telling me we had until the next day to decide. Talk about a BIG decision and not a lot of time to make it in. With this new situation in front of us, we did the only thing that made sense We said a prayer, started a fast, and went to the Provo, Temple hoping to receive some much needed answers. After doing our session we got to sit in the sacred and special Celestial Room and sat silently, deep in thought, trying to find the guidance of the holy spirit. I knew I was starting to feel right about going back to Colorado, as much as I tried to fight it. I looked at Ben and I knew that he felt the same. “Okay, then”, I said as we walked out of the temple that evening. “I guess Colorado it is!” He replied “Yup, I guess so”, after asking me if I was really okay with that. I wasn’t really, but that is what faith is all about.
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I only wish that same amount of peace found in the temple stayed with you when you left, because only about an hour had passed before I was nervous again, and questioning our decision as I packed our stuff up, once again, to move back. Moving back would push finishing college off further, we still had no where to live, I would not have my support group of fellow wives this time around, and there was A LOT that would be affected by this decision. I may or may not have cried off and on the entire drive back to Colorado the very next day. You know what they say, “Faith makes things possible, not easy”.

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