Life and the Frustratingly Familiar Unknown

Our awesome friends, Camille and Ben Hatch, were nice and let us stay with them while we figured things out. We really enjoyed spending time with them and their cute puppy, Cooper. The not so fun part-trying to figure out jobs and a place to live. Two of the most frustrating and reoccurring themes in mine and Ben’s life. I still remember how nauseated all the stress made me. We did a lot of searching and praying and fasting during that time. I would like to think that I am strong and optimistic and full of faith, but let me tell you, times like this I really fall short with all three of those desired traits. I am just glad I have a calm and collected, go-with-the-flow husband with how much of an independent, perfectionist, control freak I can be. Times like this also remind me just how very different Ben and I are. Lucky for me, he makes up where I lack. If being a patient and loving husband while married to a crazy lady was an Olympic sport (and I think it should be-that takes strength and talent), he would have a Gold Medal by now.

After what felt like tons of effort and time, we had an apartment lined up and some good job prospects. Around that same time Ben’s Boss from back in Colorado offered him a full-time technician position back with the pest control company in Colorado. This was definitely NOT part of the plan I had for us, but the offer at the time was pretty good. Ben told him he would think about it and let him know, before hanging up and telling me we had until the next day to decide. Talk about a BIG decision and not a lot of time to make it in. With this new situation in front of us, we did the only thing that made sense We said a prayer, started a fast, and went to the Provo, Temple hoping to receive some much needed answers. After doing our session we got to sit in the sacred and special Celestial Room and sat silently, deep in thought, trying to find the guidance of the holy spirit. I knew I was starting to feel right about going back to Colorado, as much as I tried to fight it. I looked at Ben and I knew that he felt the same. “Okay, then”, I said as we walked out of the temple that evening. “I guess Colorado it is!” He replied “Yup, I guess so”, after asking me if I was really okay with that. I wasn’t really, but that is what faith is all about.

I only wish that same amount of peace found in the temple stayed with you when you left, because only about an hour had passed before I was nervous again, and questioning our decision as I packed our stuff up, once again, to move back. Moving back would push finishing college off further, we still had no where to live, I would not have my support group of fellow wives this time around, and there was A LOT that would be affected by this decision. I may or may not have cried off and on the entire drive back to Colorado the very next day. You know what they say, “Faith makes things possible, not easy”.

Welcomed Home by Family

It was so good to spend some time home with family after months of being away. I felt like I missed so much! My sister Lindsay’s baptism, the traditional Easter Egg Hunt, Casey’s High School Graduation, the 4th of July campout at my Grandparents house, My family’s trip to California to go to Disneyland and to a cabin on the beach, 4 of my 10 siblings and my Dad’s birthday, time with my family’s foreign exchange student Honami (a returning guest-we just LOVE her!), and so very much more!

 

My mom hosted a “welcome home” dinner party in our honor, and even my Grandma came to welcome us home. It was fun to eat and play and talk and visit and swap stories about the past months apart. I love my family so much! They are BIG and crazy, but they are mine and are wonderful and I love them for that. We played on the tramp, ate dinner, read stories, read scriptures, and played late into the night before sleeping over. Ben beat us all to bed. He usually does. We Ahlstrom’s tend to stay up late playing with the exception of my Dad and Andrea. They are a lot smarter than the rest of us.

I think Derek got a bit tired of me taking pictures…

Too bad the welcome home party could have doubled as a going away party, but on the plus side, we did travel to Utah to visit A LOT more our second time around living in Colorado.

Moving Back to Utah…for a little while anyway

So, it was really more of a visit than a move, since we never really got settled before packing up the car, once again, and moving back. Driving back our thoughts and conversations were filled with much unknown, worry, stress and excitement. We did not know where we would live or work or well…anything really other than that we would face it together. I promised myself we would never be in that place again, but well, I have said it before, and will probably say it again-life has a way of surprising you. The one thing I have learned about life can be summed up into three words-it goes on. Sometimes, I feel like life has an alarm that goes off any time Danae gets too comfortable, but then I remember how much I hate being bored and adventure-less and then I think that is probably to blame.

 

I am so glad I have a sweet and understanding husband to help me through it all in the end, even though the stress of it all gets the best of our relationship at time. We get through it. Together. At the end of the day, that is all that really matters. Some may think that Ben and I should have been a bit more established before getting married, but I say why go it alone when you have found the one that can make the journey all the more meaningful by joining you? I do not regret getting married when we did, even though I never thought I would marry before 26 and that was if I got married at all. Marrying is one curve ball in life, I am entirely grateful for. It has made all the other curve balls bearable. For any of you dealing with a lot of stress and unknown and wondering if you will ever make it? You will, so enjoy the journey! Easier said than done, I know, but there is really nothing to be afraid of. It is just life, and it is what you make it.

goofing off while Ben tried to look for a short cut he had driven years ago. We stuck to the regular route on the main roads-probably for the best. Remember our adventure trying to get to Lava for my 21st Birthday?

We stopped by Rock Springs, WY to visit my good friend Kyle who was attending school there. We had fun playing around campus, stretching our legs and treating Kyle-and ourselves for that matter- to dominos.

“Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.”

― Mother Teresa

The First Farewell

I say “first” farewell because we said “goodbye” not knowing that we would be back within that very same month. Life has a way of surprising you and let’s just say it has thrown us more than a couple big curve balls in the almost 5 years we have been married. We hugged and cried and said goodbye assuming it would be a long time until we would all see one another again, and then said hello just weeks after said goodbye. Life can be funny at times-especially ours-and sometimes I can’t help but feel like our life is a complete joke, but it is ours and that is enough for me (most days). Times like these always lead me to one of my favorite quotes-“We may not have it all together, but together we have it all.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mid-packing one day, Ben decided a little break and dinner out was in order, so I got dolled up and we headed out for some grub and to relax for a bit. SO nice and SO needed! I tell ya-packing can really take it out of you! As proof, check out the last picture in this post of how Ben found me upon coming home, and telling me that a dinner out on the town was DEFINITELY a must before any more cleaning/packing got done. It was seven at night and I had yet to eat that day. I do that sometimes. When I get into my “project mode” as Ben calls it, let me tell you-there is not stopping me-except when Ben begs and there is a date and food involved. Little did I know how much packing and unpacking I would have to do in the following 6 months as we moved from place to place to place. Buckle your seat belts, folks, because this is about the time our life got super crazy and it has yet to calm down!

 

Little did I know what I was in for and with how tired I was that day and I am glad! One thing is for sure…I could can NEVER complain about my life being boring. Although sometimes I think a little mundane boredom would be a nice break.

Family Fun!

It was SO fun getting to know some of my extended family (my Mom’s Brother and his family) I did not have the opportunity of being close to before moving to Colorado. Ben and I took full advantage that summer of spending as much time as possible with them. From taking them out to dinner, to celebrating things like graduating from High School to hanging out at their house playing games, and watching movies to having my cousins come and have a sleepover with us at our apartment, and enjoying pool parties and BBQ’s, it was all SO much fun and I miss those times so much now that we are back in Utah.

Treating Kendra to Texas Roadhouse to congratulate her for graduating High School!

Games, goofing off and a girl’s Wendy’s run for Frosties and French fries!

Cuddling watching ‘One Fine Day’ while it poured, and thundered and the sky was full of lightning outside. Does not get much more perfect than that!

Grabbing some BBQ supplies and junk food for a sleepover!

Pool Parties!

Don’t mind Ben’s red teeth after drinking raspberry Crystal Light (one of our favs) It was all SO much fun getting to know the Durfee’s a bit better and having them meet Ben! Miss them so much! Thanks for all your love, help and support during our time in Colorado!

Missionaries for Dinner

That would be OVER for Dinner, not actually FOR dinner. We may be have been tight, but not enough to resort to those measures, lucky for the missionaries. We had the opportunity of having these wonderful servants of the Lord for dinner twice that summer and really enjoyed visiting with and studying the scriptures with them. They were kind and funny and had incredible testimonies of Christ and his Gospel. They really liked the chicken crescent rolls I made them this first time and LOVED the “Man’s casserole” as Ben calls it (hot dogs, baked beans and tater tots) even better! They finished the entire 13 by 9 pan of it. Here are pictures of our first dinner with the missionaries. Sorry, there are none from the second. Too busy visiting and downing the casserole, I suppose.

I got the dinner all ready since Ben got home so late it was really pushing it close to when the missionaries had to be home themselves, and Ben insisted he clean up while I put my feet up for a bit. I love being married to such a sweet guy!

10 things for 10 years

Ben has been a part of my life for just over a decade now, and I thought a post was in order to list the 10 things I love most about the person I have known and loved for about 10 years now. Plus, with all the past time post as I catch up, I figured a present one was in order. I can’t believe how fast time flies! It seems like just yesterday I was sitting next to the cute blonde boy, who had just told me how much he liked me, as we were flying home from Branson, Missouri. I am so grateful for every year since then, and this post is dedicated to the 10 reasons why.

Disclaimer: This post is about to get VERY cheesy. I love how Ben treated me so wonderfully as his friend, just to treat me better as his girlfriend, just to be even sweeter when I was his fiancé, just to be even more incredible when I became his wife, and got even more amazing (if that is even possible) when I became the mother of his child. It seems so often, relationships diminish in the romance department as time goes by, and I am so lucky to be with a man who cares enough to keep things fun and keep finding ways to show me every day just how much he loves me, and proving just how lucky I am. I tell ya, folks-I got the better end of the deal when it comes to marriage. Ben, I love you and thank you for making me the luckiest girl in the world!

#1-I love how Ben pretends to not want something just so I can have the last piece of pizza or cake or candy or last anything really. I have to really fight him to take it when I am not even interested and he really wants it.

#2-I love how he helps around the house, like ALL the time, without being asked. This is rare-I know-and being the OCD neat freak that I am, it means so much to me! He has even stayed up until 3 a.m. to help me get the house perfectly clean. I also love that every time he vacuums he lets me be the first to walk on the carpet. I just love the way the carpet feels after it is just vacuumed on my bare feet. Yup, I am a weird one. He also helps out by cooking. He cooked pretty much the entire time I was pregnant with Jayden, due to horrible 9-month long morning sickness, and can now cook pretty much everything I can. I have been cooking since I was 8, so that is saying something!

#3 I love how Ben will (and always has) randomly turned up a song and insisted he dance with me. Whether pulling over randomly on the side of the road in high school, to stealing me away from the mop to romance me in the middle of one of the late night cleanings mentioned above. It is so adorable and romantic and I just love it!

#4-I am SO grateful he loves and honors me, and took me to the temple to be sealed for time and all eternity. I am so grateful I get to call him mine forever.

#5-I love that after a long and hard day I come home to a relaxing bubble bath, candles, comfort food and music or a chick flick waiting for me. I am especially grateful for those times he does this for me after I have vented and taken my frustrations out on him. That is love on his part right there-BIG time!

#6-I am grateful for what an incredible priesthood holder he is and how hard he tries to better himself as a person to be the best he can be. He is a good example of bettering yourself every single day, and inspires me to do the same.

#7-I am SO grateful for what an incredible husband and father he is. He loves Jayden and I SO much and sacrifices so much to take care of us, and show us just how much he  love us. Jayden and I just adore him, and for good reason too!

#8-I love how sweet and tender he is with me. I am spoiled all too often with amazing massages, romantic love letters, and sweet surprises. He always finds a way to turn a hard day into a happy one, and a tear into a smile. I love him so much for that. He is sensitive and that is a strength in men, my friends, not a weakness.

#9-I love his eyes and his smile and his broad shoulders and just all of him! He is so handsome and I am so lucky to have landed such a good looking and absolutely incredible man to be my best friend, my husband, my companion and the father of my children. I am SO overwhelmed with gratitude every day for him!

#10-I know that this post has focused on a lot of the wonderful things, but the thing I love most about Ben is his willingness to work through the not so wonderful times in life alongside me. We have been through so much the past 10 years, and it is so comforting to know that through all the times of weakness in life and in our relationship, we have come out that much closer and stronger and better for it.

Love is not the passion and romance and everything being perfect, but the little things. The patience, the forgiveness, the friendship, the compassion, and the charity. The passion and romance is amazing, don’t get me wrong, but it is the much deeper emotions that keep love alive and strong.

I LOVE you SO much Ben! Thank you for the past AMAZING 10 years and here is to many, many more to come! I am so excited for life and eternity with you!

Always and Forever!

Down Time With My Lovie

A few of our favorite past times in Denver included those few times when Ben was not super busy, and I could meet him for lunch and to hang out for a bit. Those times were very rare-four times to be exact the entire summer, but I was so grateful for any time I got with him. Sometimes I would make our lunch, pack it and bring it with me. Other times, we would splurge a bit for something out as a treat, but no matter what we ate, the time together was always perfect!

#1-Meeting Ben with a packed lunch for a little picnic. We ended up eating it in the car because it was hot, and Ben had to work in it all day long, and the car had air conditioning, and I love him, you know.

#2- was probably my FAVORITE because we got the most time together (if you can’t tell with all of our silly pictures we took). Ben was way down south in Castle Rock, and I snuck down there to spend some time with him since 3 of his services had cancelled and he had 3 hours to just sit and wait for something else to pop on. Much to our surprise and happiness, it never did. It made me so grateful! We got about 3 hours to hang out, talk and as you can see from the pictures-goof off! It was perfect! This adventure took place while Cami was staying with us, but worked out beautifully since she was away spending a couple days with our cousins. We had a lot of fun that day.

#3-was definitely my least favorite, because our time got cut short because of an extra spot being added to Ben’s route and me getting lost and having a hard time finding where I was supposed to meet Ben. It was a “hi-goodbye” situation if you can’t tell by the lack of pictures with Ben in them and my very bummed out self as I was left alone in the rain after driving an hour to spend time with him. Bleh.

#4-Meeting Ben way up in North Colorado in no-man’s land at a McDonald’s (because it was pretty much the only thing around) for lunch mid-summer. I had to say his name a couple times to get him to finally smile and look at the camera. It had been a long day for him with some customers who were a bit less than fun and I decided to meet him and try to cheer him up.

Ben also came home to me having a little down time of my own, when I had fallen asleep on the couch while reading or watching t.v. It did not happen very often, but when it did, Ben was always very understanding of dinner not being on the table when he got home and even made dinner before waking me (isn’t he amazing?), but not before taking these somewhat embarrassing shots. Caught in the act of being a slacker wife! Sometimes you just have those days in life though, you know?